Some Progress, Some Setbacks

The week following the post about cleaning up my house, I did manage to actually clean off half my kitchen table, even though I wasn't feeling well at all. On the table was an old, large tuner and an even larger, old turntable that we removed from our old entertainment center so that it could be hauled out by the Salvation Army. Our new TV furniture holds less equipment, so those pieces had to go. They sat on our table for over a month. We ate on trays or on the other half of the table. I was sick of it. Like I said before, our garage is full, so I knew I would have to create an area to place those pieces and guess what, I actually did find a space they would fit in perfectly! Will wonders ever cease...? !

I felt such a sense of accomplishment that I started cleaning out a drawer and a cupboard and filled up a couple bags and boxes. My next projects were already brewing in my head and I was making mental to-do lists while hunting for more boxes and bags to fill up. I was on a mission!

Then, last Wednesday, my husband had to be admitted to the hospital and it has been crazy ever since, with me driving back and forth and nothing getting done at home. You see, my husband, who has kidney failure from diabetes, is on dialysis and contracted an infection from the procedure. He's still in the hospital, but finally getting better. One evening I was too uptight to sleep after coming home from the hospital, so watched a TV show called, "Hoarders" that my daughter had recorded. Although the people featured were extreme cases, I recognized and empathized with the feelings of the people that hoarded stuff and lived with clutter and messes.

So I had an idea. While my hubby is in the hospital, I want to attack the corner of the livingroom where he lives in his easy chair, and keeps his blankets, pillows and other stuff. He doesn't walk much due to neuropathy in his legs and feet, so he spends his days watching TV, using his laptop, reading, talking on the phone, or just sleeping. He keeps his cane, walker and booster pillow for his legs within reach. He also has a stash of sugarless candy and gum in an old box on the table, magazines, old mail and other papers scattered all over. That corner of the room looks more like a hospital room, so it is a challenge to keep it looking nice and clean.

I pray God grants me the energy and know-how to make that corner look nice, while also being helpful to my hubby. I need strength because I'm so wiped out emotionally and physically from driving and being at the hospital so much. But I would like it to surprise him when he comes home to find it neat, tidy and organized for him.


Mary Lynn xo  2/21/10

Declutter or Bust

They say confession is good for the soul. So, today, after tripping over my grandchild's toys and losing my slippers in the mess on the floor, I took pictures of the inside of my house. BEFORE pictures. Cuz I'm going to clean and purge the guts out of this place & I want you all to see the difference when I'm done. This place is downright depressing and overwhelming. This could take me 6 months, but I hope it will take less once I get the hang of it. (Where's Oprah when I need her?) My house is small and we have a lot of stuff. The garage has two paths, one to the washer & dryer, the other to the freezer. So, guess what. There's no room left to put anything from the house. Time for a couple of garage sales for sure. And the pictures don't even include the messes in our bedrooms. Yikes, the closets alone...

My daughter watched a TV show the other day about hoarders and ended up crying because it was about US. I'm not a hoarder so much as I am unable to decide what to do with something or where it should go. If I don't want it, do I just throw it away, sell it or give it away? That means I'll have to make a decision, which is hard too because I'm very indecisive about many things. Here is a sampling of my 'before' house. Whew... it's hot in here. Oh wait, that's my face turning red from embarrassment:


I'm thinking about using a card system that my sister uses. Or doing the systematic approach, working my way around the room. The only problem is where to put stuff once I throw it in a box to be taken out. I'll probably have to pick a wall & just start piling boxes there as if we're moving. Which could be just around the corner anyway considering I still haven't found a job and we'll have to sell. But that's another story.

Wish me luck! Pray! I really need it. Send suggestions, advice, comments. And if any of you out there have done the 'before and after' decluttering in your home, let me know how you did it. I'll keep you all posted on my progress.

MaryLynn xo

Use Your Spoon!

I must have said it 25 times, "Use your spoon!" I was getting exasperated. My adorable granddaughter, who will be 2 in a few weeks, likes to scoop her cereal and milk out of the bowl with her hand instead of her spoon. She will also use her spoon and does a pretty good job, but constantly uses her hands to assist with using the spoon, interchangeably. Then it dawned on my pea brain that for months we had taught her to use her little fingers to pick up food. I remember how delighted we all were when she was able to pick up food using two fingers instead of her hand in a fist, and place food gingerly and expertly in her mouth. What a triumph and we would all clap and praise her for it. Now, instead of praise, she gets my demanding "Use a spoon!" response. Doesn't seem fair, does it? And she must be a little confused. Where's all the praise for using her hands, even with liquid now? Hmm...

Just like a child, you and I are constantly being pushed to go another step in our maturity, our thinking, our doing of this life. At first we think it may be unfair, or not doable, or we just are too lazy to be stretched and matured. But it all makes sense, doesn't it?

A new driver starts learning behind the wheel with an instructor maybe in a parking lot or side street where they won't be in the way of other drivers. But that new driver will never learn how to make a safe left hand turn if he doesn't get into the intersection - of life. It takes experience and a willingness to grow smarter and stronger.

Thoughts for my day... Marylynn xo

PERSPECTIVE

I have two brothers. HA is single, in his 50’s, intelligent, funny and creative. His big, 6’2”frame is, however, carrying close to 350 lbs. This weight is causing problems such as back pain, fatigue, no energy, a constant worry to him. He is an alcoholic and drinks beer, which keeps the weight on and his stomach huge. I feel for him, because for most of his life, he was the smallest kid of all four of us, and always thin until the past 10 yrs. or so. But the beer….

He recently emailed me that he went 14 days without a beer, went on a strict diet and lost over 20 lbs! I was humbled and surprised by his comment, ‘Imagine what I would have lost trapped under rubble.’ So the beer money is going to Haiti. I’m very proud of him! And I admire his thoughtful perspective.

My mother, 90, lives in assisted living and has dementia, which she refers to as a total annoyance and disruption in her life. She knows she is forgetful and gets confused about many things, but it is not 24/7, so much of the time she can take care of herself and some of the small, simple details of her life. Lately, however, she is having a harder time just getting up in the mornings. Once she is up, had her coffee and toast, she is good to go the rest of the day. The hard part is deciding if she needs someone to come in early in the mornings to help her get going. That could be expensive, plus, Mom is against it, as she is still a bit stubborn about her privacy and lifestyle.

So my older brother, JC, who takes good care of Mom’s bills and bank accounts, suggested that he pay me (from Mom’s account) to give her the extra attention she needs more often now. I was struck by the thought that while I am unemployed and really need an income, I just wouldn’t feel as loving or caring if I was going over to Mom’s to care for her for the money. Should I pay myself to do what I would otherwise do out of a love for her? I also have to consider my hubby, who is disabled and unable to drive. I do many other things for him on a daily basis. I have to plan times to go to my Mom’s when I don’t have to do stuff for hubby. It is usually last minute, but I’m trying more and more to show up to help her regularly. I never thought about being paid for what I do for her. I am suddenly in a quandary.

I will seek God’s wisdom concerning this and make a decision this week. Everyone, take care, love God, be considerate and flexible.

Love, MaryLynn :)

I wonder if anyone reads my blog. I think my friend Emily does occasionally. I’m so new to all this that I don’t know how to keep track of people peeking in or from where, like some blogs I visit with the world all lit up from various visitors and fancy “feeds” telling who popped in from what city in the world. If people are reading, I don’t get comments. Or, it could be I’m writing to myself - and God. Ha! Just Him and me in cyberspace together. Hmmmm… But then He created what we are using, so really, it’s me in His space: Godspace! Ha! I crack me up. He’s just loaning it all to us, the air space and the electrical currents of whatever makes it all work for us to communicate on the internet.
It’s hot here tonight, too hot to sleep. The constant whir of the fans keeps me from falling into a deep sleep anyway. So I sit up alone in the quiet of my house, while the others manage to sleep.
Or is it the heat and fans that keep me awake? Not sure. I do know that I’m uncomfortable in the place that I am in at this time in my life. I feel insecure, unsure of the future, as if my life is in some kind of holding pattern. What am I waiting for? Not having a job is a huge factor, a regular income no longer expected. And not by choice either.
Choices. It was not my choice to be laid off from a perfectly good job with good pay. But it was my choice to then quit a not so great job later on, without having another job to go to. Big mistake. I still can’t believe I did that, but I guess I was confident that I would find another job with no problem. Not to be. The month I quit my job, headlines in the newspapers and internet displayed rising unemployment figures by the minute across the entire country! I was still sure I would have no problem getting a new job. That was over a year ago…
Yes, I’m in a whole new place right now. My new job is finding a job! And figuring out how to make ends meet. It takes extreme patience and wisdom from Almighty God, that’s for sure. I trust He is listening, seeing and helping me and my family through this dilemma. We are certainly not alone or being singled out. But it is still hard to figure out my path and what my next step should be.

CELEBRATE!!

Celebrating the 4th of July is becoming more important for me each passing year, as I cherish our freedoms here in the good ol’ USA. It is also a time for me to reflect on being more appreciative and grateful for having been born here, with all the privileges and opportunities available to me my entire life! This July 4 was even more special, as my hubby and I shared it with my daughter, her boyfriend and their daughter, my one and only adorable granddaughter (OOAG). OOAG loved the fireworks. The noise did not bother her. She would reach out to the sky to try to catch them – so cute! She stayed up late with us too, cheerfully and happily. It was only when we all piled into the pickup headed home around midnight, that she konked out. She slept 11 hours straight.
Another important personal aspect of celebrating Independence Day this year is the fact that my daughter will soon celebrate one year of being clean from drugs and her BF celebrated six months clean this week. It has been a busy, sometimes chaotic, difficult, challenging year for those two, so I know they were glad to celebrate their freedom here in the USA, as well as freedom from the chains of drug addiction.
Let Freedom ring!