I wonder if anyone reads my blog. I think my friend Emily does occasionally. I’m so new to all this that I don’t know how to keep track of people peeking in or from where, like some blogs I visit with the world all lit up from various visitors and fancy “feeds” telling who popped in from what city in the world. If people are reading, I don’t get comments. Or, it could be I’m writing to myself - and God. Ha! Just Him and me in cyberspace together. Hmmmm… But then He created what we are using, so really, it’s me in His space: Godspace! Ha! I crack me up. He’s just loaning it all to us, the air space and the electrical currents of whatever makes it all work for us to communicate on the internet.
It’s hot here tonight, too hot to sleep. The constant whir of the fans keeps me from falling into a deep sleep anyway. So I sit up alone in the quiet of my house, while the others manage to sleep.
Or is it the heat and fans that keep me awake? Not sure. I do know that I’m uncomfortable in the place that I am in at this time in my life. I feel insecure, unsure of the future, as if my life is in some kind of holding pattern. What am I waiting for? Not having a job is a huge factor, a regular income no longer expected. And not by choice either.
Choices. It was not my choice to be laid off from a perfectly good job with good pay. But it was my choice to then quit a not so great job later on, without having another job to go to. Big mistake. I still can’t believe I did that, but I guess I was confident that I would find another job with no problem. Not to be. The month I quit my job, headlines in the newspapers and internet displayed rising unemployment figures by the minute across the entire country! I was still sure I would have no problem getting a new job. That was over a year ago…
Yes, I’m in a whole new place right now. My new job is finding a job! And figuring out how to make ends meet. It takes extreme patience and wisdom from Almighty God, that’s for sure. I trust He is listening, seeing and helping me and my family through this dilemma. We are certainly not alone or being singled out. But it is still hard to figure out my path and what my next step should be.

CELEBRATE!!

Celebrating the 4th of July is becoming more important for me each passing year, as I cherish our freedoms here in the good ol’ USA. It is also a time for me to reflect on being more appreciative and grateful for having been born here, with all the privileges and opportunities available to me my entire life! This July 4 was even more special, as my hubby and I shared it with my daughter, her boyfriend and their daughter, my one and only adorable granddaughter (OOAG). OOAG loved the fireworks. The noise did not bother her. She would reach out to the sky to try to catch them – so cute! She stayed up late with us too, cheerfully and happily. It was only when we all piled into the pickup headed home around midnight, that she konked out. She slept 11 hours straight.
Another important personal aspect of celebrating Independence Day this year is the fact that my daughter will soon celebrate one year of being clean from drugs and her BF celebrated six months clean this week. It has been a busy, sometimes chaotic, difficult, challenging year for those two, so I know they were glad to celebrate their freedom here in the USA, as well as freedom from the chains of drug addiction.
Let Freedom ring!

What to Eat

I am a little concerned. My adorable granddaughter (AG) seems to be a picky eater lately, barely savoring bites of delicious foods before nonchalantly letting them fall from her sticky fingers onto the floor for the dog. When given a tiny quarter pbj sandwich, she’ll gingerly pull it apart, lick the peanut butter, check out the jam, lick again, flick the bread here and there, until it no longer even resembles a sandwich square. Show her the Gerber baby ‘stars’ (junk food I call it), and she laughs with glee and gobbles them up. Some days it seems she barely eats solid food, but always has room for her ‘baba’ (bottle). She has wasted many a good hot dog, hamburger, vegetable, fruit and bread, prepared by those who love and care about her growing up healthy and strong.

I found myself comparing AG’s attitude toward food to some Christians’ attitudes about being fed God’s word, helping themselves to dessert or feel-good food, more than meat and veggies, or eating junk food to save time or keep from having to prepare something healthy. How do we prepare ourselves for God’s food? Do we have a good Bible on hand to read? Are our bookshelves stocked with spirit-led devotionals to jump start the day or great books to help us through different issues. clarify truths or to glean inspiration? Do we support our pastor(s) by regularly attending church service and gathering around the table with our Christian family in remembrance of our dear Lord and Savior, or are we absent from the ‘table’ and instead sneaking candy bars on the side? Do we really hunger and thirst after His righteousness?

Something to think about the next time your heart, mind and/or spirit craves renewal, refreshment, strength, healing, and satisfaction. Like a full stomach and clear mind, hearing and reading God’s word grows us, strengthens our faith and enlightens our minds to His Truth. Preparing God’s word for someone else is just as important for the edification of the body of Christ, for teaching the little ones, for practicing being a servant, and for inviting lost souls to partake in Him.

So, little AG, when once upon a time this tiny bottle was critical to your survival in the NICU, come to the table and eat what is prepared before you, for your gramma who loves you so, wants you to grow up strong, healthy and happy in Jesus.

Funny

My granddaughter is not only cute, sweet and smart, she is funny. She has a sense of humor that comes from within. She makes me laugh. She knows when she is being funny, with that twinkle in her eye, waiting for my reaction. She makes faces, uses her hands, hair or clothes to do funny things, giggles at herself or others, manipulates her toys to do funny things. Her imagination is in full force, her body works just as hard. Here are a few pics of my funny girl.

Peek-A-Boo

Playing with her toes.

Goofing off while eating, running her grimy hands through her hair.

Cute in her Bunny Suit

Sigh.... what's a gramma to do? I'm grateful God gave her such humor, it's a gift. I'm sure she will need it in her life ahead. All for now.

MaB (my new signature)

Waiting for the Good when Everything is so Bad.

A year ago, after my daughter gave birth to her first child in January (our first and only granddaughter), our family experienced joy and gratefulness for her young life. For baby had a rough beginning, but was safe and sound in her foster's mother's loving arms, a wonderful woman my daughter had known since being very young. To make a long story short - a very long year of legal stuff with CPS, rehab, court dates, social workers, would follow. Bringing with it heartache, stress and strained family situations, anxiety, confusion, frustration and sore knees from praying for God's help.

Today, I am proud and relieved to share that God came through, of course, and our daughter was awarded legal custody of her dear baby girl on April 1. Both are healing nicely, as well as our family and other situations.

God has clearly showered us with His blessings, healing and help during this time. His promise in Romans 8:28 has come alive in our home and hearts. Praise God!!

My Lord knows what is best and when, the transformations that need to be done, and shows me glimpses of His power to change people and circumstances, to heal and plant joy and hope in my heart and mind.

Just Like Israel

"Above all, I know there is a Supreme Being who rules the affairs of men and whose goodness and mercy have always followed the American people, and I know He will not turn from us now if we humbly and reverently seek His powerful aid." —Grover Cleveland, Second Inaugural Address, March 4, 1893

We are a nation in need and God knows it. As a Christian, I tend to pray for my needs and those around me, my family, friends, church members, even friends of friends. But do I pray for my leaders, those in government? Sometimes, but rarely. Those who have the 'power', so to speak. Those who actually change, re-arrange, add or take away the very rules and freedoms we live by. Seems I should be taking what is happening in my own nation more seriously. I pray for a job, but guess what. I'm not the only one. Unemployment is like an epidemic and competition is stiff! Why? Not because of my life, or just my local government or even because of California leadership. It is nation-wide! So I must begin to pray daily, for my great and beautiful America, to be humble before God, seek His wisdom, His ways, His word, His guidance and leading. Depending on His unending grace, mercy, love and truth to hear and guide me. Not a new idea...
God bless you all~~

A New Day

The only way is up at this point. The Lord is bringing me to a point where I have exhausted all my worldly efforts to finding a job, only to let Him do the work for me. Trusting, believing, stepping aside, believing He does love me enough to let me suffer a little while with victory at the end. I hope to be laughing and dancing at His rescue efforts. I've read Job, but maybe not deep enough, hard enough, serious enough. Then there was Joseph and others in the O.T. that God let get to the end of their efforts, only to lift them up to wonderful victory with a great story to pass on to all generations. I want that...