I wonder if anyone reads my blog. I think my friend Emily does occasionally. I’m so new to all this that I don’t know how to keep track of people peeking in or from where, like some blogs I visit with the world all lit up from various visitors and fancy “feeds” telling who popped in from what city in the world. If people are reading, I don’t get comments. Or, it could be I’m writing to myself - and God. Ha! Just Him and me in cyberspace together. Hmmmm… But then He created what we are using, so really, it’s me in His space: Godspace! Ha! I crack me up. He’s just loaning it all to us, the air space and the electrical currents of whatever makes it all work for us to communicate on the internet.
It’s hot here tonight, too hot to sleep. The constant whir of the fans keeps me from falling into a deep sleep anyway. So I sit up alone in the quiet of my house, while the others manage to sleep.
Or is it the heat and fans that keep me awake? Not sure. I do know that I’m uncomfortable in the place that I am in at this time in my life. I feel insecure, unsure of the future, as if my life is in some kind of holding pattern. What am I waiting for? Not having a job is a huge factor, a regular income no longer expected. And not by choice either.
Choices. It was not my choice to be laid off from a perfectly good job with good pay. But it was my choice to then quit a not so great job later on, without having another job to go to. Big mistake. I still can’t believe I did that, but I guess I was confident that I would find another job with no problem. Not to be. The month I quit my job, headlines in the newspapers and internet displayed rising unemployment figures by the minute across the entire country! I was still sure I would have no problem getting a new job. That was over a year ago…
Yes, I’m in a whole new place right now. My new job is finding a job! And figuring out how to make ends meet. It takes extreme patience and wisdom from Almighty God, that’s for sure. I trust He is listening, seeing and helping me and my family through this dilemma. We are certainly not alone or being singled out. But it is still hard to figure out my path and what my next step should be.