PERSPECTIVE

I have two brothers. HA is single, in his 50’s, intelligent, funny and creative. His big, 6’2”frame is, however, carrying close to 350 lbs. This weight is causing problems such as back pain, fatigue, no energy, a constant worry to him. He is an alcoholic and drinks beer, which keeps the weight on and his stomach huge. I feel for him, because for most of his life, he was the smallest kid of all four of us, and always thin until the past 10 yrs. or so. But the beer….

He recently emailed me that he went 14 days without a beer, went on a strict diet and lost over 20 lbs! I was humbled and surprised by his comment, ‘Imagine what I would have lost trapped under rubble.’ So the beer money is going to Haiti. I’m very proud of him! And I admire his thoughtful perspective.

My mother, 90, lives in assisted living and has dementia, which she refers to as a total annoyance and disruption in her life. She knows she is forgetful and gets confused about many things, but it is not 24/7, so much of the time she can take care of herself and some of the small, simple details of her life. Lately, however, she is having a harder time just getting up in the mornings. Once she is up, had her coffee and toast, she is good to go the rest of the day. The hard part is deciding if she needs someone to come in early in the mornings to help her get going. That could be expensive, plus, Mom is against it, as she is still a bit stubborn about her privacy and lifestyle.

So my older brother, JC, who takes good care of Mom’s bills and bank accounts, suggested that he pay me (from Mom’s account) to give her the extra attention she needs more often now. I was struck by the thought that while I am unemployed and really need an income, I just wouldn’t feel as loving or caring if I was going over to Mom’s to care for her for the money. Should I pay myself to do what I would otherwise do out of a love for her? I also have to consider my hubby, who is disabled and unable to drive. I do many other things for him on a daily basis. I have to plan times to go to my Mom’s when I don’t have to do stuff for hubby. It is usually last minute, but I’m trying more and more to show up to help her regularly. I never thought about being paid for what I do for her. I am suddenly in a quandary.

I will seek God’s wisdom concerning this and make a decision this week. Everyone, take care, love God, be considerate and flexible.

Love, MaryLynn :)

I wonder if anyone reads my blog. I think my friend Emily does occasionally. I’m so new to all this that I don’t know how to keep track of people peeking in or from where, like some blogs I visit with the world all lit up from various visitors and fancy “feeds” telling who popped in from what city in the world. If people are reading, I don’t get comments. Or, it could be I’m writing to myself - and God. Ha! Just Him and me in cyberspace together. Hmmmm… But then He created what we are using, so really, it’s me in His space: Godspace! Ha! I crack me up. He’s just loaning it all to us, the air space and the electrical currents of whatever makes it all work for us to communicate on the internet.
It’s hot here tonight, too hot to sleep. The constant whir of the fans keeps me from falling into a deep sleep anyway. So I sit up alone in the quiet of my house, while the others manage to sleep.
Or is it the heat and fans that keep me awake? Not sure. I do know that I’m uncomfortable in the place that I am in at this time in my life. I feel insecure, unsure of the future, as if my life is in some kind of holding pattern. What am I waiting for? Not having a job is a huge factor, a regular income no longer expected. And not by choice either.
Choices. It was not my choice to be laid off from a perfectly good job with good pay. But it was my choice to then quit a not so great job later on, without having another job to go to. Big mistake. I still can’t believe I did that, but I guess I was confident that I would find another job with no problem. Not to be. The month I quit my job, headlines in the newspapers and internet displayed rising unemployment figures by the minute across the entire country! I was still sure I would have no problem getting a new job. That was over a year ago…
Yes, I’m in a whole new place right now. My new job is finding a job! And figuring out how to make ends meet. It takes extreme patience and wisdom from Almighty God, that’s for sure. I trust He is listening, seeing and helping me and my family through this dilemma. We are certainly not alone or being singled out. But it is still hard to figure out my path and what my next step should be.

CELEBRATE!!

Celebrating the 4th of July is becoming more important for me each passing year, as I cherish our freedoms here in the good ol’ USA. It is also a time for me to reflect on being more appreciative and grateful for having been born here, with all the privileges and opportunities available to me my entire life! This July 4 was even more special, as my hubby and I shared it with my daughter, her boyfriend and their daughter, my one and only adorable granddaughter (OOAG). OOAG loved the fireworks. The noise did not bother her. She would reach out to the sky to try to catch them – so cute! She stayed up late with us too, cheerfully and happily. It was only when we all piled into the pickup headed home around midnight, that she konked out. She slept 11 hours straight.
Another important personal aspect of celebrating Independence Day this year is the fact that my daughter will soon celebrate one year of being clean from drugs and her BF celebrated six months clean this week. It has been a busy, sometimes chaotic, difficult, challenging year for those two, so I know they were glad to celebrate their freedom here in the USA, as well as freedom from the chains of drug addiction.
Let Freedom ring!

What to Eat

I am a little concerned. My adorable granddaughter (AG) seems to be a picky eater lately, barely savoring bites of delicious foods before nonchalantly letting them fall from her sticky fingers onto the floor for the dog. When given a tiny quarter pbj sandwich, she’ll gingerly pull it apart, lick the peanut butter, check out the jam, lick again, flick the bread here and there, until it no longer even resembles a sandwich square. Show her the Gerber baby ‘stars’ (junk food I call it), and she laughs with glee and gobbles them up. Some days it seems she barely eats solid food, but always has room for her ‘baba’ (bottle). She has wasted many a good hot dog, hamburger, vegetable, fruit and bread, prepared by those who love and care about her growing up healthy and strong.

I found myself comparing AG’s attitude toward food to some Christians’ attitudes about being fed God’s word, helping themselves to dessert or feel-good food, more than meat and veggies, or eating junk food to save time or keep from having to prepare something healthy. How do we prepare ourselves for God’s food? Do we have a good Bible on hand to read? Are our bookshelves stocked with spirit-led devotionals to jump start the day or great books to help us through different issues. clarify truths or to glean inspiration? Do we support our pastor(s) by regularly attending church service and gathering around the table with our Christian family in remembrance of our dear Lord and Savior, or are we absent from the ‘table’ and instead sneaking candy bars on the side? Do we really hunger and thirst after His righteousness?

Something to think about the next time your heart, mind and/or spirit craves renewal, refreshment, strength, healing, and satisfaction. Like a full stomach and clear mind, hearing and reading God’s word grows us, strengthens our faith and enlightens our minds to His Truth. Preparing God’s word for someone else is just as important for the edification of the body of Christ, for teaching the little ones, for practicing being a servant, and for inviting lost souls to partake in Him.

So, little AG, when once upon a time this tiny bottle was critical to your survival in the NICU, come to the table and eat what is prepared before you, for your gramma who loves you so, wants you to grow up strong, healthy and happy in Jesus.

Funny

My granddaughter is not only cute, sweet and smart, she is funny. She has a sense of humor that comes from within. She makes me laugh. She knows when she is being funny, with that twinkle in her eye, waiting for my reaction. She makes faces, uses her hands, hair or clothes to do funny things, giggles at herself or others, manipulates her toys to do funny things. Her imagination is in full force, her body works just as hard. Here are a few pics of my funny girl.

Peek-A-Boo

Playing with her toes.

Goofing off while eating, running her grimy hands through her hair.

Cute in her Bunny Suit

Sigh.... what's a gramma to do? I'm grateful God gave her such humor, it's a gift. I'm sure she will need it in her life ahead. All for now.

MaB (my new signature)

Waiting for the Good when Everything is so Bad.

A year ago, after my daughter gave birth to her first child in January (our first and only granddaughter), our family experienced joy and gratefulness for her young life. For baby had a rough beginning, but was safe and sound in her foster's mother's loving arms, a wonderful woman my daughter had known since being very young. To make a long story short - a very long year of legal stuff with CPS, rehab, court dates, social workers, would follow. Bringing with it heartache, stress and strained family situations, anxiety, confusion, frustration and sore knees from praying for God's help.

Today, I am proud and relieved to share that God came through, of course, and our daughter was awarded legal custody of her dear baby girl on April 1. Both are healing nicely, as well as our family and other situations.

God has clearly showered us with His blessings, healing and help during this time. His promise in Romans 8:28 has come alive in our home and hearts. Praise God!!

My Lord knows what is best and when, the transformations that need to be done, and shows me glimpses of His power to change people and circumstances, to heal and plant joy and hope in my heart and mind.